Survive The Off Season With NFL Total Offensive And Defensive Rankings

By Olivia Cross


What is the die-hard NFL football fan supposed to do during the agonizing months in between February and August. February brings with it the awesome Super Bowl, followed by the super crash the following week, when it finally sinks in that there isn't a game on Sunday. There won't be a game for lots of Sundays. Well, there are last year's statistics to pour over, among them the NFL total offensive and defensive rankings.

You can use this time productively to scrounge around for any football apps you never managed to download to your tablet and/or smart phone. Never mind the fact that they will be all out of date by the time next season rolls around. It keeps you occupied and lessens the withdrawal symptoms.

For most of February, it may still be possible to find people on the discussion forums. Yes, there are still stones left to be unturned on Inflatagate. Why doesn't the NFL supply the balls to everybody on both teams? Are they going broke? That opens up a whole new world on the discussion groups - conspiracy theories.

By March, the withdrawal symptoms should be dampening off but they won't be completely gone. It depends on how many reruns of "Game of Thrones" you can tolerate at any one time. Learn a new language, like Formula One. The first race of the season usually takes place in March in some strange country where you can never figure out if they are "n" hours ahead or behind your local time zone. Hey, just working that out should eat up some desperate, football-free hours.

April brings Easter, sowing season for the vegetable garden and probably time to start mowing the lawn again. It's too soon for barbecues, so it's back to the Internet for amusement. Now is a good time to implement all those ideas for setting up spreadsheets just the way you want them so you can track the performances of the teams and players. Do it now, while the ideas are still fresh in your mind.

May. May is a tough month. None of the websites have been updated. There's nobody on the forums to argue with. Keep working in the yard. Tinker with your spreadsheets. Explore some of the other channels on the television. No, really. They do exist. Take the kids out for pizza. Take the wife out for dinner. You know her, she's the one who makes all the snacks on Sundays during football season.

June is starting to look promising. Your spreadsheet is halfway full of data, the front lawn is so closely mown you could bounce a quarter off it. You may even find one or two fans in Indonesia or Qatar on the discussion forums. No, wait, they had football confused with soccer, like three quarters of the rest of the planet.

Ah, the hot summer months of July and August. Hope is on the horizon. Fill your time with garden parties and in the blink of an eye, it's September and time for the opening match of the new season. Now, instead of filling your time, you can be filling your fridge with beer and wings. Don't forget the potato chips. Life, and Sunday afternoons, have meaning again.




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